Two Rhymes...

BRITISH CHEESE.
It's all a con
this British cheese
it's all pre-packed
and processed
Cheshire's made
in Lancashire!
and so is all the rest...
in a factory north of Wigan
with a west country address.

LONDON TRADER.
My old dad's a London trader
he's no back street salesman
he works a pitch up Oxford Street
selling watches when he can.
They're franked and stamped
and wrapped and packed
they're fully guaranteed
yer genuine Swiss kettles
made in Hong Kong.
But you won't catch him
up West, on a saturday
'cos he goes down to Upton Park
to see those Hammers play.
He's even bin up north,
to Watford, to watch 'em play away
he came back Brahms and Listz
boozing all the way
Oh, he's a Cockney,
he likes a knees-up now and then
for he's a London trader
the best street salesmen!