Tuesday, April 10, 2007

My pub-poetry Archive...

Welcome to my pub-poetry archive...
You will find 71 of my previous postings on these pages. If you would like to view my current work you will need to visit my ALL NEW pub-poetry page at: SweetTalkingGuy...

LAST STAND
I went to the
new bus shelter
on Churchill Way
and looked down at
Salford Ski Slope.
Like everything else
it looked neglected.
Grass had started
to grow through
the white squares.
No plastic bread crate
toboggan, no mangled
bike frame without wheels,
no toughened glass
panels lying about.
In fact it looked too neat -
the grass banking had
recently been mown.
I looked away in
search of a 52 bus...
Then it caught my eye
a single plywood panel -
resting at the bottom
of the slope!
DW1993CCLSIS

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Song #8...

MY TWO STRING VIOLIN!
I got meself a Tennis Bat
it only had one string
I thought it was a Banjo
but it wouldn't swing.
So I took it down to
the Viola man - and
this is what he say,
He said: I see you've got
yerself a 'one string thing'
it must've cost a packet
and it makes a racket!
But, If yer wanna
make that rot-box swing!
Yer gonna have to get
yerself another string.
So I toddled on down to
The Ukelele Shop and
got meself a bass string
put on top!
Now, you want to hear
my, Two-String-Thing!
Swing, two string swing,
swing, two string swing!
You want to hear my
Two-String-Guitar swing!
Swing, two string swing,
swing, two string swing!
You want to hear my
Two-String-Violin!
DW19992

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

To my secret lover!..


SWEET
NOTHINGS
To my secret lover
just to let you know,
that I can't live
without my girlfriend
'cos I love her so!!
How I wish that
she was near -
how I dream that
she was here.
So I could whisper
in her ear:
Sweet, sweet, sweet,
sweet nothings!
That only she can hear.
Lots of pots and pans
of love and pockets
overflowing...
But without my
girlfriend near -
but without my
lover here, there ain't
no way of knowing:
Sweet, sweet, sweet,
sweet nothings!
That only she can hear.
From your secret love...
Guess who?
28701

MUSICIAN WANTED...

LYRICIST
SEEKS
MUSICIAN
I can't do what
you can do.
Like Dylan, Lennon
+ Lou can do!
'Cos I can't
write a tune -
like you!
And very soon,
if I don't hear
from you!
I'll have a zillion
words to throw away!
Call Danny today:
0911-555-4999
9797

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Salford Ski Slope...

COWARDY CUSTARDS
Last one to the bottom's
a Cowardy custard
said little Joey
aged five.
He was seated behind his
baby brother, Christopher
aged two
in their plastic breadcrate
toboggan, precariously perched
at the top of
Salford Ski Slope.
(Bet not many people
know about that.)
Next down was Brian
aged seven.
He slid to the bottom on
a mangled bike frame
without any wheels.
But the fastest and
best skier was Carol
aged six,
on a piece of toughened glass
from the old bus shelter
on Churchill Way.....
Previously published in Cowardy Custard's Last Stand in Salford 1992

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Song #7

SHIRLEY
(SHE'S SUCH
A NICE GIRL)

Shirley -
she's such a nice girl -
really!
Such a nice girl -
I guess that's why that -
they call her Shirl!
Go on Shirley -
give us a twirl.
Such a nice girl -
I guess that's why that -
they call her Shirl!
Shirley -
twirly wurly Shirley -
twirly wurly Shirley -
Go on Shirley -
give us a twirl.
repeat.
AS1999

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Alpha to Omega...

GREEK ALPHABET
Alpha beat a gamma
with a delta
in epsilom
while zeta eta theta
in iota and
kappa and lambda
joined the MU +
Newcastle XI
for omicron pie
as they row
sigma in tow
up silom
with phi chi
and psi
to omega...
ASP1982

HARRY'S EPIGRAM

D.O.A. Special K said the Doc.
in his bedside/telephone way.
Some said that he fell.
Others that he was pushed + punched.
I thought that he could float.
There again, I knew the man that sold
him the stuff that made him high.
All twenty two floors of it.
Two hundred foot, freefall, 'til the pavement
came up and met him.
Leaving the Coroner to write the final
epigram for the 'Local Rag'.
SALFORD 1992

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Maggies Farm...

SURVEILLANCE
I live on the twenty second floor.
Harry has the flat downstairs.
When I first moved here Harry said:
When two ants are doing it,
in the crack on the concrete car park,
down there man.
It sounds like Madonna in the back of
a stretch limo making out on Avenue B
with a Puerto Rican kid called Jose.
Harry wasn't wrong, even the passing traffic
sounds sexy from the twenty second floor.

I invited Natasha up for the weekend last month,
Harry fell off the step ladder when she came
and broke his leg. He won't be doing Callanetics,
naked for a while, in front of that six foot mirror
with his head phones on, tuned into the Bob Dylan
tapes I've been playing to the bug he stuck in my
bedroom lightswitch last year when I went to Butlins.

I know what Harry gets up to because I've got a
fibre optic lens, poking through the hole I drilled
in his ceiling rose when the gas man was due and
he had to turn the meter over in a hurry.

Everybody says that fifty per cent of Harry's head
went walkabout in Katmandu about five years
before anybody met him. Nobody knows what
happened to the other half of his brain.

Last time I saw Harry, he had his left leg in
plaster, a skateboard superglued to his bare right
foot and a crutch under one arm. In his free hand
he carried a walking stick for locating ants to
colonise the concrete crack. He'd just totalled his
Giro on two little pills that he hoped would make
him think that he could fly.

I said: What are you going to do with that bargain
bucket of Kentucky you've got gripped between
your teeth?
Harry said: I'm going to take it home and dissect it
man. It's got to last me all week, so I'm going to
stirfry it up with those bean shoots I grow with my
Herb in the window box.
I said: That sounds good.
And do you know what Harry said?
He said: I ain't gonna work on Maggie's Farm no more!
SALFORD 1992

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